Sunday, April 14, 2013

How to Eat a Taco

(Found on the box of Tast-EZ™ Taco Shells)

Thank you for your purchase of this product. You have made a wise choice and are well on your way to tasting the best tacos, and quite possibly the best food, of your life. Here are a few tips to make your taco-eating experience enjoyable.

  • Please be advised that the contents of tacos can be extremely hot and cause burning of the lips, tongue, palate, and uvula. Our nutritionists and lawyers advise serving tacos at tepid and/or room temperature.
  • The first bite into a hard taco shell will break it completely and spill its contents. We recommend purchasing Tast-EZ™ Flour Tortillas and making soft tacos instead to contain spillage. Or if a rubbery consistency is desired then purchase Tast-EZ™ Corn Tortillas.
  • Spillage is still possible with soft tacos made using tortillas. Care must be taken to roll up the tortilla completely and fold over both ends while firmly holding the ends in place with the fingers. (Don't bite your fingers!)
  • Taco meat is typically greasy and consumption of it has been tied to obesity. Try substituting a leaner meat like turkey or a vegetarian alternative such as soybean for a healthier choice. Warning: some people are allergic to soybean and a protein alternative such as peanuts or shellfish should be used instead.
  • By purchasing this box you have agreed to release and hold harmless (te absolvo) Tast-EZ™ Corp. from all taco-eating complications including (but not limited to) asphixiation, death, and cramping.

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